"Halloween Fever has started, and we have an exciting show for you on tonight's...
and here is your host...
TV's one TRUE Wicked Woman...
On cue with the narrator, the bubbling cauldron in the middle of the foggy lab-like stage filled with smoke, and then out from under the smoke, dressed in her usual alluring witch outfit, was its host, Anne Cortes. From out of the cauldron, Anne pulled out a tape recorder to press play on a pre-recorded cheering audience for her arrival. With her other hand, she gripped onto her witch's hat to keep it steady on her head and took a bow to the camera.
"OH. EM. GEE., why am I so loved? Stop! Like, stop it, seriously. Gawd." Anne laughed about it, snorting slightly thanks in part to her nasally voice.
With a sigh, she gave the fictional audience a chance to breathe as she pressed pause and threw it back into her "brew".
"Is there a better time of the year? Duh! February 19th. My birthday. Send me some duckin' presents this time." she said, in a completely serious tone. "But like, after that? Nah. Halloween is the BEST time of the year. Witches are everywhere, it's gothic, and like, I don't even like Pumpkin Spice a whole lot, but I mean, there's even Pumpkin Spice flavored Egg Nog, and that's my favorite drink of all time a whole month early, so whatever."
Anne sighed and buried her fist into her cheek.
"Now, what I don't like is that it's also the season that most people get into wrestling training. So, once again, another hoity toity young newcomer who doesn't deserve fifteen seconds of anyone's attention gets fifteen minutes of fame, and usually disappears off the face of the planet." Anne rolled her eyes. "I know I'm a part of RISE, which is all about these NEW PEOPLE, and I know you're expecting me to like give these flash in the pans the time of day, but luh-mao I really don't care. When I'm skeptical I'm right, unless you really wanna defend Molly Prizm or Chelsea Eckhart to me. Then you're a real loser. Maybe we should stop caring about finding new people, and instead remembering...we have better talent beforehand, y'know? Would anyone honestly take 10 minutes of The Coors Twins, or whoever they are, over even five minutes of me, or Birdy, or even like...Laura Brennan? You have to be either some white night who drools over these women over actually liking them wrestle, or not know literally anything about wrestling, lawl! Anyway, before we start 'Caffeine is Murder', here's a word from our sponsor...which is ironically, like, RISE. But they didn't ask me to sponsor. Point proven." ----
Cut to backstage, live over a greenscreen showing the RISE logo, we see one Lucy "Tyke" Miller, dressed in full cosplay attire as a schoolgirl inventor in a pink uniform, and Lindsay "Uncle Charlie" Miller, dressed in tactical gear like that of a SWAT officer. They stared into the camera.
"...THAT ■■■■IN' BITCH. I'M GONNA RING HER GODDAMN NECK! I'M GONNA MAKE HER ASS--" Tyke growled, and that was the last word Tyke could get out of her mouth that wasn't censored for the next 30 seconds before being calmed down by her twin sister.
"Hey, let's NOT assault the host of this program, and just talk about something else. Like, y'know, costumes? The biggest thing about Halloween, I'd say. It's the time of year where everyone picks out- or even makes for that matter - creative costumes to get people talking. Like the ones we're wearing! You being...uh...someone who is a...scientist, I think?" She said, as she tilted her head to the side while frowning.
Tyke smirked. "A'ight, so check it. I was hanging out at Jane's the other day, and she was playing some weird stupid Japanese anime game, and you know I don't play ■■■■ games, or watch that ■■■■--"
"You watched Princess Mononoke just yesterday."
"Yeah, that's ■■■■'s awesome, like the scenes where he ruins a dude up with arrows, but I don't know why you gotta bring up a Disney classic at a time like this. So anyway, she got to this character who told someone they were acting like a little bitch, and then I laughed and told Jane that was me. Then it turned out she was working on cosplays for people in that game, and I asked if I could kife it."
"Ah-huh, okay. Well, I can definitely say with certainty that I regret asking." Lindsay groaned.
Tyke reached into her pocket, to pull out a piece of paper she proceeded to crumple in her fist.
"Hey, piss off. You asked. What's this? 'Everyone be a dick to Tyke' day? I just wanna share my list of monsters I'd...let inside me."
"So now you're going to critique me phrasing it like that like I'm some kind of beta virgin who doesn't like talking about getting it on? Well, Lindsay, I can't say ■■■■, now can I, or else it gets censored."
"Yeah, the phrasing of it wasn't what I was aiming at. I'm pretty sure that there is really no good way to spin that...actually just forget it. Please. Continue." She said as she wore a rather uneasy smile, preparing herself for the worst.
Lucy uncrumpled the sheet of paper in her hands to read off of it.
"Alright. So, from the top, I got Number ten in my list of monsters any alpha would hit,...The Invisible Man. So the downside to this situation, is that I can't actually see what he looks like, but I mean...we all had that fantasy about having sex with an invisible person, am I right? You do it because you want to know how it is."
Lucy looked at her sister, expectingly.
"Okay, fine, well the majority of people, they know what I'm talking about. nine is Ghosts. Same reason as Invisible Man, but even more mainstream and sometimes you can see them, so that bumps it up kinda. So, we can skip over them. Eight, here's one I'm really excited about. Everyone's getting all jazzed up from The Shape of Water, and for a good reason. Fish people are hot. It's 2017 and finally, we learned this. Thank you, Guillermo Del Toro. Thank you, Fox. I will pay full price opening day...well, Lindsay will pay for most of it. She owes me eight bucks."
Lindsay raised a brow.
"I paid you back yesterday."
"I thought those were eight bucks for being an awesome sister..." Tyke said, absolutely heartbroken.
"If that was the case, then you owe me well over eight dollars."
"■■■■ it. Compromise: Jared pays for everything. He's earning all that UWOT money, anyways. I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF HE PLAYS FOOTBALL ANYMORE! DID HE EVER PLAY FOOTBALL?"
"Just get back to the list."
"Can do. Number Seven...Chuckie."
Tyke twiddled her thumbs, trying to think of how to put her justification
"...Look, I got personal stuff, okay? I may...or may not...have had several posters, and an obsession that started when I was really young and watched Bride of Chuckie. When I was growing --"
"Okay. Gonna stop you right there! We get it. You like playing with dolls...okay that was really not the best thing I could've said given the context, but I can't go back on it now."
"Six is the Phantom. Not ghosts again, the Opera ■■■■er. If you wouldn't go down, mask on or off, get out of my face."
Lindsay twirled her hair around her finger as she looked off to the side before she cleared her throat.
"I, uh...I agree...with this one, actually. Yeah. Mask on, for me, though. The mystery makes it more exciting."
"Booyah! SHE SHOOTS AND SHE SCOOOOOOOORES! I knew you'd come around. So anyway, Number five is The Thing."
Lindsay wanted to say something, but couldn't find the right words. Lucy looked down on her list.
"Number four, The Predator. Mask on, 'cause it looks cooler, but I'm not married to it. If he wants to do it mask off, ■■■■, I mean...he's The Predator. He fought Arnie. I'll make compromises to be with someone like that!"
"Ya know, I really miss being on the same page with you. That was such a good moment."
"Number three, Pinhead. The less said about this one the better!"
"Oh hey we're on the same page again!...well, not about Pinhead being hot - because wow he is really not - the whole you not talking about it part."
"...You never watched Hellraiser before, have you?"
Lindsay shook her head with a proud smile.
"And I don't intend to."
"Chump." Tyke grumbled. "Okay, so two is Godzilla."
"...and you're human sized while this is happening?"
Tyke groaned, loudly and annoyingly.
"No, , I'm the size of Tokyo, and Godzilla's going to...wreck...m--"
Lucy held out a finger, pausing for a sec.
"OH MY GOD!" Lindsay shouted as she paced off, then back on the set.
"...N-Now, when I was saying that, I was being sarcastic, but..."
"STOP! PLEASE! Are you done? This ■■■■ is gonna wind up on Deviantart!"
"A-Anywaaaays..." Tyke said, clearing her throat."Number 1. The Wolfman, or Werewolves in general. Now, here is where I'm going on a bit of a rant. This here's why I made this in the first place. I see you ■■■■ers in the Twilight fandom going off on how you like werewolves, but you'll only like them if they're in human form. That is some of the weakest ass beta ■■■■ I've seen in my life." Tyke shook her head. "You are not true people who should be with a werewolf. You take the good with the bad. Guess what? You're secretly still getting wolf dick on nights where it's not a full moon anyway. So, deal with it! That's all I want this Halloween."
After her sister finished her tirade, Lindsay just stood there, wide-eyed, mouth agape. All of it had finally culminated, and Lindsay just looked over at the camera.
"Uhhhh...I mean, I am surprised that Werewolves are number one. I was expecting something like...the Fly, or, I dunno, the Blob. But hey that's fine Werewolves are cool. Secondly, though. now that we're past this mess, hey Lucy, WHAT THE ■■■■!? I hope to god our next opponents kinkshame you from here, aaaallll the way back home, and then back to RISE again. I can't believe all our co-workers are going to have to watch this. I can't believe our employers are going to watch this."
"Heeeeeey..." from off-screen, the commercial's director stepped in. "So, we've had our doubts about this commercial since you introduced this list, but now we decided we're going to pull the plug and see if we can just get Anne to do it. This is very...far from what we were thinking this commercial was going to turn out to be."
"Well ■■■■, I'm sorry, I didn't realize we were in the communist country of GERMANY! I'll be leaving now!" Tyke said, storming off in a huff.
Lindsay watched her sister storm off, and all she could do was lean her head back, with her eyes closed, and take a deep breath, before exhaling loudly.
"She didn't even ask me about my costume..."
She sighed. She expected it, but it was still a bit of a bummer. Nonetheless, Lindsay walked off set and after her sister. Leaving the camera crew all breathing sighs of relief.
5,000 dollars. It was rare for Birdy to get a check so large for one show, but not unwelcomed. She found herself occasionally glancing over to it in the dressing room as she zipped up the gym bag with her Halloween costume in it. Walking away with this much money and a win should have felt like the most rewarding experience in the world.
...and yet it wasn't.
She had an overwhelming feeling of guilt tonight for her win, even if she didn't want to admit it. Nevertheless, she pocketed the check into the pocket of her gym bag, and threw the bag over her shoulder, before walking out into the busy hallway of ROSE. Making her way to the parking lot, her eyes glanced towards the door to her partner's dressing room as she walked past it. She just wanted to keep on walking, and never bring up this night again, but she found herself stopping and backing up to face the door. The golden nameplate that read 'Anne Cortes' hung above the door, out of her reach, and only serving to intimidate her even more. She didn't want to do this. She really, really did not want to do this. But she was goin to. After a long pause to stare at the nameplate, she took a deep breath, before knocking on the door. Anne's voice quickly shot up from inside the room.
"Who is it?"
Birdy tensed up. Hearing her tag team partner's voice suddenly made her doubt her decision, but threre was no escaping talking to her partner now.
"Hi...it's uh...It's Birdy. Can I...?"
Before she could finish her sentence,the door swung open, almost striking Birdy had personal experience not told her to take a step back. Anne was seemingly already on her way to leave, in the middle of zipping up her jacket before Birdy interrupted.
"Oh my god, Birdy...are you okay?" she asked, concerned. "You're not, like, still dazed, are you?"
Birdy shook her head.
"Whadya waiting for? Get in here already." she said, invitingly.
Birdy nodded, before following Anne inside her dressing room.
"So, lemme guess. You're here to talk about how ObNOXIous and her friend got what they deserved, right?" Anne laughed.
Anne paused for a response, only for her tag team partner to go silent.
"Oh my god, their face when I clapped was HILARIOUS. El. Oh. El. All that talk about her being 'real', and WHO was the one who won tonight?" Using her thumbs, Anne pointed to herself. "You're lookin' at her! Justice was served tonight. I beat her, and at the end of the day, I'm the former Valkrie champ in ROSE, while she's just...out there. With that Atari girl or whoever. BEING LOSERS. So, whatever."
"They'll never be us. All that talk about us being fake was just jealousy because they WISH they could be us. We're the ones who will be future tag team champions, right, Birdy?"
Anne waited for a few seconds for some kind of response from her. Yet, Birdy stayed as silent as she had since she entered her room.
"Hey! Don't be rude! Talk to me! Helllooooo? ...Are you really, like, just not going to talk? Did they beat you up so bad that you forgot how to talk? C'mon! I heard you say stuff earlier. Like, are you trying to trick me? Cause I already heard you talk. So, it's not gonna work."
Birdy stayed quiet, starting to frustrate Anne, before she just as quickly calmed down.
"double-you slash e. Later, Birdy. Anne said. "We'll talk later."
Zipping up her coat, Anne grabbed her own gym bag and walked out of her dressing room door, into the now near empty and isolated backstage. As Anne walked slowly to the parking lot, drifting farther and farther away from her tag partner, Birdy finally broke her silence.
"A...Anne." she said in a tone loud enough for her partner to hear.
Anne stopped, before turning around.
"Tell me! Why did you cheat?"
Anne sighed, before dropping her bags, and then snickering.
"Uh...what? What the duck do you mean, like...?"
"You faked a tag."
"Well, yeah. Cause you were out. We would have lost. What you should be saying right now is 'I'm sorry Anne, I almost made us lose'. Not be up on her high horse for helping us win. C'mon." she laughed.
Walking up to Anne, Birdy put a hand on her tag partner's shoulder.
"...Oh. Em. Gee. Are you, like...serious? Are you SERIOUSLY showing sympathy for the people who BEAT YOU UP last show?" she said, becoming more and more agitated. "What's with you?"
"Anne, please. I know that we won, and I know who they are, but we can't do this. It isn't fair."
Anne slapped Birdy's hand off of her shoulder.
"FAIR? Oh, I'm sorry, Birdy." Anne said, in a sarcastic tone. "Apparently I'm at fault here for getting YOU money that you can use to get out of that apartment filled with RATS, and BLOOD, and YOUR BROTHER THAT YOU HATE. Is that it?"
Birdy looked shocked at her partner, in disbelief of what she was hearing.
"Well guess what, Birdy? I only have to cheat in matches because I'm forced to when you're my partner, anyways. Do you like...realize how many times I had actually 'lost' in AES before I started teaming with you?"
Anne held up her left index finger to Birdy.
"ONCE! And guess what? When I was away from you and I got to be in a battle royal for at title shot, I won MY shot to fight the UWOT Women's Champion in my DEBUT. So tell me, like, what did you do last PrimeTime when you were in a battle royal where you could have won a shot to fight Gilry?"
"YOU LOST! Just like you lost to Noxi and Atori, and everyone else. I am amazing whenever you're not with me. I get title shots and get to fight for Number One Contendership in my other feds. You can't acheive ANYTHING without me. Do you, like, realize that?"
Birdy covered her ears, trying to stop herself from hearing any more.
"I could dump you right now as my tag team partner and acually succeed, but like, I just really care way too much for my FRIENDS. And If I left you alone, you would never win, Birdy. I mean...really, when's the last time you've beaten anybody one on one?"
Tears started to fall down Birdy's face from under her mask.
"That, like, says it all, doesn't it? You want to say that how I won 'wasn't fair'? Guess what, It's not fair that I have to be the one who helps us win all the time. Or that my reputation was ruined BECAUSE OF YOU. HOW IS THAT FOR NOT FAI--"
"...I won't doubt you anymore. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for screwing up your career, Anne."
Taking her hands off her ears, Birdy started to wipe away the tears from under her mask.
"I do...I do need to win. I've not acheived anything my career. I'm sorry I doubted you. You're my friend...I know you're only speaking the truth."
Anne hugged Birdy, letting her cry over her shoulder.
"Jeez...just...don't worry. I'll be here for you, Birdy."
"...Thanks, Anne...I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."
Anne patted Birdy on her back.
"Look, I've stuck with you this long. I'm not leaving you behind. Let's talk on our way to the parking lot, 'kay?."
Taking in the time to cry, she managed to calm herself down enough to respond, in a raspy voice.
"Okay." she said, wiping away a few more of her tears, as she broke away from the hug.
"Let's get your bags..." Anne said, as she escorted Birdy back to Anne's room to get her bag. Birdy felt relieved to be in the loving company of a friend, at least until the two partners would leave for their respective flights.